I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
only you would photoshop your dick
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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