dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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