I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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