Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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