I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
