So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
