I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
why does every cop we meet know your name?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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