I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
