you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
