She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
