and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
