Yo dont text me then not text me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
last night I used snow as a chaser
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
