Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize