what day is it and did you see me today?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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