have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
