So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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