Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
