i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
