There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
