i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
