No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
