just tell him i said nine months
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
