She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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