i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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