On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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