Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
