I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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