return my video game
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
