he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
