p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i barfeds in our rink
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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