Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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