i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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