This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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