Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
