Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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