New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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