She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
