dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
