Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
