Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
