she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i've created a new STD.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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