Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize