he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We are all done wearing pants today
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
