Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
