Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
