It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
