ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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