I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
