Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
