why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There r osticjed everywhere
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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