She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
