I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
