he puts the penis in happiness.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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