If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
