Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My first STD was from a foam party
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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