Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
