Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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