the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
