So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
