she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
