Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
