i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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